duh.

Having just returned from a week in Atlanta, I am reminded of the contrast between driving there and driving in Boston. Where the Boston area is a Gordian knot of cowpaths and colonial legacy, Atlanta is a marvel of the interstate age - here, a twisted, clogged mess that would make Evlis's circulatory system look like a model of efficiency, there a marvel of sixteen lanes flowing through midtown at 75 mph. Likewise, the contrast between Boston drivers and Atlanta drivers couldn't be more stark: where Boston drivers are obnoxiously rude, Atlanta drivers are just plain stupid.

Again, I'm not talking about all Atlanta drivers here; just that small subset who drive like idiots, and can therefore be assumed to be idiots. You've seen them - rocketing across six lanes of traffic to get to an exit when they could just double back at the next exit instead, darting from one lane to another with no blinker and no regard for the fact that they're surrounded by traffic screaming along at 75 mph, driving slow in the fast lane and vice versa. (In my mind, the ubiquitous 'W' stickers don't do a whole lot to contribute to a general air of intellectual prowess, but maybe that's just my personal bias.)

So, for all you Atlanta drivers who slept through Driver's Ed, here's the Cliff's Notes version: right lane slow, left lane fast. If people are passing you on the right, take the hint. You don't have to go 75 if you don't want to, but if you're not going to keep pace then get out of the way. And speaking of getting out of the way, if you're in the right lane and someone is trying to merge at an on-ramp, make a space - either speed up to pass them or slow down to let them in, but don't just ignore them and hope that they'll somehow be magically teleported through you and deposited into the fast lane. And for christ's sake, use your damn turn signal. You don't make any sense when you're talking to someone in person, so how do you expect someone to read your mind from twenty feet away?

Oh, and for you idiots who insist on doing 80 in the slow lane, there's special level of hell reserved just for you, right between the boston drivers and the child molesters. Enjoy.

Really, this isn't rocket science, right? I shudder to think what would happen if you took some of these people and dropped them into a rotary.