and a 100 microfarad capacitor to go...

I hate Radio Shack.

On paper it seems like a great idea. How about a store where you can pop in and pick up whatever little electronic widget you happen to need? Sounds great, right? Oops, my calulator needs new batteries, guess I'll go to Radio Shack. I need a run of coax for my TV, guess I'll stop by Radio Shack. Looks like I need a 100 microfarad electrolytic capacitor to finish this circuit I've been working on, guess I'll hit the old Radio Shack.

Trouble is, Radio Shack sells crap. First of all, they have the oddest selection of products imaginable. Oddball IC's for the bored hobbiest. Overpriced A/V hardware to route the signal from your TV to your bathroom. Miscellaneous musical toys that are so chintzy you wouldn't even see them at a Wal Mart. And of course, all that quality audio hardware from the house brand, Realistic. Didn't I see Bono using one of those Realistic mics in an Ipod commercial?

Then there's the staff, which seems to be made up enitrely of vocational school dropouts working on their MBAs at night school. The sad thing is, anyone really qualified to work in a Radio Shack would never be caught dead in one, let alone stuck behind the counter. Plus, they just can't leave you alone; they stand by the door pretending to play with the remote control cars, waiting to pounce the second you walk in. It's as if the concept of browsing is completely alien to them...as if no one would ever go into a Radio Shack without a good, well defined, and very specific reason.

I popped into a Radio Shack a few months back because I needed a patch cord. Sure enough, the salesman couldn't just leave me alone to find it myself; he was instantly at my side, with "CanIhelpya? Whaddya lookin for? Whatllitbetoday?" So, with a sigh of resignation I told him I was looking for a patch cord. "A patch cord?" he says, looking perplexed. "What's that?"

Just then his manager, who was passing by, pipes in with a bit of a sneer. "Oh, that's just a buzz word for an audio cable."

Oh.

Um, no. A "patch cord" is what every musician on the planet calls that piece of jacketed wire that connects his instrument to his amp. So, since Radio Shack only sells audio cables, I left and bought my patch cord at a music store.

And no, for the last time, I don't want to be on your damn mailing list.