can't get there from here.

Ah, Logan. How could I have gone so long without bitching about Logan?

Like the T and public transportation, Logan is everything an airport should not be: confusing, overcrowded, inconvenient, and expensive. To be fair, it was probably never intended to handle the level of traffic it does, both by land and by air. However, the legacy argument only goes so far: is Boston a major city or not? A city that calls itself “the hub of the world" would certainly seem to aspire to major-city status. Logan does have a dedicated international terminal, and it’s not just for the panache.

But every one of the five terminals at Logan is completely different…there’s no uniformity whatsoever, except for the consistently filthy restrooms. The lack of uniformity is something locals can learn to accept, but it’s absolutely horrible for first-time visitors, i.e. the people who should be coming through the airport. And if you should happen to need to change terminals while connecting through Logan, well, good luck. You can always walk it if you can’t figure out which shuttle bus is which. (Incidentally, in case you didn’t know, the B terminal is split into two separate halves, connected only by a parking deck – so if you happen to be wandering up and down the B terminal and you can’t find your airline, try walking over to the other side. Absolute genius.)

Parking…hope you get there on Monday, because that’s when the deck fills up for the week. If you have to travel on a Wednesday, well, you might as well take the T…and that’s saying a lot. And when you get back, good luck finding your car…the garage is a labyrinth of Sienfeldian proportion. Jimmy Hoffa’s not dead; he’s looking for his Cadillac in Central Parking.

If you do take the T, you have to figure out which bus to take to the terminals, because of course there are different ones that make different stops. Likewise for ground transportation to anywhere else…it’s almost worth bending over for the cab ride just to not have to deal with it. If you get stuck in off-site parking, you’re really screwed…the busses and shuttles that go there are even more confusing.

I suppose I don’t get to complain about weather delays, since weather is beyond anyone’s control, but I will anyway. It does seem like at the first hint of rain the whole system crashes and delays go through the roof, cascading through the rest of the day. Yet I know for a fact that they don’t close the airport on a whim…I’ve been through more than one approach and landing that left me green to the gills and so glad to be on the ground that I pledged I’d never fly again. I suppose it’s par for the course for New England.

Yeah, there are other crummy airports out there (read: Newark), and I just don’t get it…it just can’t be this hard. Maybe I just got spoiled by Atlanta Hartsfield, which is easy to reach and navigate despite being one of the busiest airports in the world. I mean, if a bunch of Georgia rednecks can get it right, shouldn’t the most over-educated city on the planet be able to get me from Terminal A to Terminal D without breaking a sweat?