the hordes at the gate.
|
Nothing
taxes my dwindling faith in humanity like air travel. I’ve
flown a fair amount over the last several years, and I’ve noticed a
trend when
it comes to boarding a plane. Even
before they call for first class, the teeming masses start to cluster
in the
waiting area, crowding the gate, jockeying for position to be first in
line the
nanosecond their group is called. No
matter how many times the gate agent asks people to not approach until
their
group is called, none of these pushy bastards will budge.
It’s like third-world street urchins crowding
around the unicef bread truck. You’d
think it was a matter of life or death whether they get on the plane an
instant
sooner than the next schmuck in line. On
a recent flight there were so many of these cretins crowded around the
gate
that there was no actual path; the gate was completely blocked. The boarding agent called my group and I
politely tried to
work my way forward, but to no avail. When
they called the group after mine and I was still
stranded in the
obnoxious mass, I broke down and started pushing. Some
latte-drinking,
WSJ-toting corporate drone actually got offended and
made a crack along the
lines of “I thought I was in line
here…” yeah, buddy, you’re not in line;
you’re just in the way. I actually wish the
airlines would start
hiring bouncers. Big hairy ones with
tattoos. The slack-jawed gate
agents sure don’t have the nerve to do their job. Message
to mister corporate go-getter: the next time you’re tucked away in your
precious aisle seat
tapping away at your preformatted multicolor
corporate spreadsheet and someone
walking down the aisle “accidentally” spills soda on your laptop, it’s
not bad luck – it’s payback. Watch
your back, buddy. |